Speak Out Before We Freak Out

We have all been in a situation where we feel horrifically guilty or ashamed of something that we have done or said. It consumes our minds and is all we think about. Our thoughts become irrational and we convince ourselves that what could or might have happened is just too bad to even say aloud, we are disgusted with ourselves. This leads to dealing with this feeling and emotion in different ways, sometimes unhelpfully. 

Talking is one of best things for us- basically like getting a second opinion...for free!! Too many people are afraid to speak out. We shy away from telling the truth or even just asking for advice because we are scared of how we might be judged. In reality this is because our minds have already done the nasty work of convincing us of something incorrect. The more we get the word out there about how we are feeling, the more we will realise numerous things:

A) It is good to talk!! It stops all that internalising, and sometimes just saying things aloud we can hear how unrealistic they may be. 

B) Feelings and emotions are normal and we have to accept them- be it positive or negative. Being able to deal with feelings and emotions is something we have got to learn to do, to be able to accept them means that you are then able to move forward and make sure that you are handling and managing these in helpful and constructive ways- nothing damaging or harmful to ourselves. 

C) Other people may feel like they are in a very similar situation and will completely understand where you are coming from- but I mean how on earth are we meant to know this if we aren't willing to talk about it in the first place?? We can be our own worst enemy- not speaking up because we are afraid of what others might think if we speak up...it is just a vicious cycle that needs to be broken!!

Anxiety can stem from the situations we are imagining that could but probably won’t happen in the future, we are fearing the unknown. And actually, that’s so normal!! Of course if we are unsure of what’s going to happen or the result of something we will be a little bit apprehensive, just as you  would be should you be facing one of your biggest fears. But because people don’t talk about this our clever little minds convince us that we shouldn’t speak aloud because we will come across abnormal, therefore obviously giving people a reason to judge us (?!?!). 

Christmas for me personally is one of the hardest times of the year, but actually I felt the most confident I’ve ever felt about it because I’m in a place where I can openly speak about how I feel. I was very honest to those close around me and said, I’m not going to lie, I’m petrified. And it’s true. The thought of it being the Christmas period meant I knew I would probably drink and eat more, and maybe not do as much exercise, and yes, I am open about how this is still a scary thought for me. Recovery is a process that takes time, and this is something to be acknowledged. We have to remember there are healthy ways to deal with feelings that aren’t unhealthy. 

Recovery for me as I've said before is still very much an ongoing process, I lapse and make mistakes but that’s going to happen. You cannot let it hide the fact that progress has been made because recovery isn't always going to be a direct incline. Everyday, be it a struggle or not, is an achievement. I went into Christmas hoping for the best, but also understanding that if things do go slightly differently that’s OK, my actions of that day do not determine my future. Remember, it is OK to not be OK. The more of us that speak out, the more we will realise that yes, obviously not everyone feels the same, but there will be some people in exactly the same boat. So if you haven't got it by now, WE ALL NEED TO SPEAK OUT MORE !!! Because speaking out more = less of us freaking out, more!!

The step taken in being able to talk is proof to ourselves of gradual acceptance. Acceptance builds our confidence, so by doing this you begin to realise that actually, you are very fine the way you are. 

Situations in which you would normally be scared for and begin to overthink can stop and yes it takes time but it’s doable, which I honestly didn’t believe for so long. The more you do it, the easier it becomes. Each time you begin to overthink just stop, treat it as an experiment. If you don’t test then you will never know. Speak out about how you feel because actually by doing that you won’t just be helping yourself, but also all of those around you. (....hence the We in the title, before WE freak out...duhh...)

Voicing our thoughts can help even realising that what we are saying is just in reality a little bit silly, we are making our impossible thoughts seem possible. 

Confidence as I said comes from self acceptance, but even if that doesn’t come for a while, there are little steps we can take which helps our confidence grow. Things aren’t going to be perfect all of the time and honestly, that is OK, because what even is perfectionism? There is no ‘normal’ and there should be no irrational fear for any of our fears or triggers because actually, it just shows we are human and feel things. 

So just go out there and experiment, learn a few new and healthy ways of being able to deal and process these feelings and thoughts. Lets normalise the fact that shying away from those 'abnormal' feelings does more harm than good, speak out before we freak out xoxo