Life As An Experiment

Up until, even the beginning of this summer, it is fair to say that one of the main reasons I exercised (outside of rowing) was not because I wanted to. It was because I wanted to change the way I looked. My lil head was convinced that if I exercised to lose weight and make myself smaller life would just be better. My self-worth would instantly be increased, it would make me more accepted and it would make me happier. The reality is that it brought none of this, all it caused was me to absolutely hate the exercise I was doing. My whole life revolved around me going to the gym and would very much dictate the way that I was living. Which honestly, writing this now, feels bizarre as most of the training I do I absolutely love...it is obvious and absolutely fair enough though, that occasionally we get days or sessions which seem pretty difficult, it just shouldn't be something that is happening every single session. It is also important to make clear that, for those who train lots an...

Yes  I was bullied, yes it affected me, but no way in hell nearly as much as the effect that one stupid app had on my life.  I’m tall, active and a fairly reserved person, which is very different I now note, to unconfident.  Of course  I was going to weigh more than those around me, (not lying about my height!). I was never really that  self conscious  or worried about how I looked to other people; I was happy .  In April 2017 I downloaded  MyFitness  Pal and this ended up being the catalyst of a period, which is safe to say, looking back on now was the worst period of my life.  Prior to downloading it I was very easy come, easy go. I’ve definitely recognised there were issues regarding disordered  eating  but I was blissfully unaware of what was to come.  The main thing I used  MyFitness  Pal was, to begin with, see how many calories I consumed because, as I recall telling my Mum, I was ‘curious...