Life As An Experiment

Have been meaning to write this for a few weeks now; I guess I haven’t because the fact that I have recognised performance sport isn’t the right place for me right now is hard to admit. Gonna try and keep it short and sweet, but update you all on the decision I’ve made and why.   Over the last almost two years when introducing myself, my go to has always been ‘Hi, nice to meet you. I’m Ellie and I am a full-time rower.’ Always enjoyable to see how quickly I could get the fact that I rowed into the conversation… When making the decision to stop rowing, not because I don’t want to do it anymore but because I’ve recognised that environment is not one that is healthy for me, my first thought was shit! Who even am I now?    Since my training had to pause due to ongoing illness, it became apparent that I probably wasn’t quite where I believed I was in terms of recovery. It was obvious that doing three sessions a day had, in a way, ‘allowed me’ to eat properly. It was a twisted ...

Up until, even the beginning of this summer, it is fair to say that one of the main reasons I exercised (outside of rowing) was not because I wanted to. It was because I wanted to change the way I looked. My lil head was convinced that if I exercised to lose weight and make myself smaller life would just be better. My self-worth would instantly be increased, it would make me more accepted and it would make me happier. The reality is that it brought none of this, all it caused was me to absolutely hate the exercise I was doing. My whole life revolved around me going to the gym and would very much dictate the way that I was living. Which honestly, writing this now, feels bizarre as most of the training I do I absolutely love...it is obvious and absolutely fair enough though, that occasionally we get days or sessions which seem pretty difficult, it just shouldn't be something that is happening every single session. It is also important to make clear that, for those who train lots an...

I'm not really sure what I imagined when I started this year, all I had kinda thought about was training around three or four times a day and just basically seeing what happened. It is fair to say that there is far more that comes into it than I had initially thought about; most days, let alone weeks, bring about huge learning experiences be it actually to do with learning how to row, or what different training sessions mean to do with the importance of sleep and nutrition to then learning how to listen to your body if its not feeling well or hurting...can confirm, needs a lot more work. One thing I did know coming in is that nutrition was going to be a bit of a make or break as I knew to keep up with the demand of all sessions I had to be giving myself the right fuel, and given my past, this is probably the thing that has had the biggest importance and needed a lot of attention over the past few weeks. My strategy has been to think of treating everyday as an experiment, I am no ...

I stayed on that f****** bus. The past year has not been easy but I have done it, I have finished university and had the best year yet. I have made some of the biggest decisions of my life, so the pressure has definitely been felt. Third year seems all about working hard and getting yourself on a grad scheme because that's what everyone else around you is doing. So, I got to the beginning of this year and absolutely freaked out! I was going into final year and really felt like I had not accomplished the whole 'uni experience' at alll. So I went and did things differently, decided to treat it just like first year; I joined different and new societies, got properly into my studying and met loads of new people. It was the best decision I ever made. A decision that I would not have made had Gramps not told me to stay on that bus. In September, having said when I was 15 that I would never row again, I decided that I would go back and give rowing a go, as a novice. I had noth...

York Sport Union spoke to UoY student and rower, Ellie Simonds - Gooding, about her struggle with an eating disorder, her journey to recovery and how rowing trains her mind as well as her body. ‘I was never really told about eating disorders at school. Then, when I came to university, suddenly I was aware of them and felt a lot of pressure to look a certain way.’ Ellie, who speaks so sensitively and openly about her experience with her own body image and mental health, said that her illness began in her first year at York. ‘Among friends I felt new and different pressures I had never experienced before. I felt I had to look a certain way and do things differently in order for people to like me. This is when I developed bulimia.’ Can you tell us more about the moment when your habits began to negatively change? I became completely obsessive over calorie counting, especially after I downloaded the My Fitness Pal app. Suddenly, I was able to see not only how many calories I w...