Life As An Experiment

Have been meaning to write this for a few weeks now; I guess I haven’t because the fact that I have recognised performance sport isn’t the right place for me right now is hard to admit. Gonna try and keep it short and sweet, but update you all on the decision I’ve made and why.   Over the last almost two years when introducing myself, my go to has always been ‘Hi, nice to meet you. I’m Ellie and I am a full-time rower.’ Always enjoyable to see how quickly I could get the fact that I rowed into the conversation… When making the decision to stop rowing, not because I don’t want to do it anymore but because I’ve recognised that environment is not one that is healthy for me, my first thought was shit! Who even am I now?    Since my training had to pause due to ongoing illness, it became apparent that I probably wasn’t quite where I believed I was in terms of recovery. It was obvious that doing three sessions a day had, in a way, ‘allowed me’ to eat properly. It was a twisted ...

In order to be the best in sport, being able to handle pressure is critical. It is what makes us continually raise our game in response to what is going on around us and challenge those boundaries we once saw as limits. Instead of using this pressure as a stimulant and a positive presence, I found myself getting slightly overwhelmed by it and then shying away. I was afraid of failing so I was never reached my limit, I preferred to play safe rather than risk not completing something.   Recently I have started working with Gazing Performance Systems on their Red2Blue Approach. I had recognised that this was an area that needed work and I am now in the process of learning and finding out how I can strengthen this and help myself. I want to be able to embrace discomfort and use it to help me attack rather than get scared. Am going to share some of my thoughts along the way, as it is not only applicable to sports but everything that we do.   First of all, mindset, mental toughness ...

Have thought about writing this for a while, probably because a) the situation is one that has been and is so challenging for a lot of people, but also b) it has taken some accepting of the fact that I am not quite where I thought I was or want to be mentally. This period has been a big eye opener, and one that I know is even more important for me to treat as an experiment. Testing myself now, in very unusual circumstances, I know will help to make me stronger when we come out of this. Hold the vision, trust the process. This phrase is something I have reminded myself of daily for a while now; it has become even more important whilst in isolation. And in all honesty, I believe it speaks volumes, in so many different ways.  Whether it be a vision of something you may want to achieve in your job, a skill or sporting achievement, or to do with your recovery. Whatever that vision is, that is what you have to hold on to. Your job is to just persevere with the process of getting t...

Up until, even the beginning of this summer, it is fair to say that one of the main reasons I exercised (outside of rowing) was not because I wanted to. It was because I wanted to change the way I looked. My lil head was convinced that if I exercised to lose weight and make myself smaller life would just be better. My self-worth would instantly be increased, it would make me more accepted and it would make me happier. The reality is that it brought none of this, all it caused was me to absolutely hate the exercise I was doing. My whole life revolved around me going to the gym and would very much dictate the way that I was living. Which honestly, writing this now, feels bizarre as most of the training I do I absolutely love...it is obvious and absolutely fair enough though, that occasionally we get days or sessions which seem pretty difficult, it just shouldn't be something that is happening every single session. It is also important to make clear that, for those who train lots an...

I'm not really sure what I imagined when I started this year, all I had kinda thought about was training around three or four times a day and just basically seeing what happened. It is fair to say that there is far more that comes into it than I had initially thought about; most days, let alone weeks, bring about huge learning experiences be it actually to do with learning how to row, or what different training sessions mean to do with the importance of sleep and nutrition to then learning how to listen to your body if its not feeling well or hurting...can confirm, needs a lot more work. One thing I did know coming in is that nutrition was going to be a bit of a make or break as I knew to keep up with the demand of all sessions I had to be giving myself the right fuel, and given my past, this is probably the thing that has had the biggest importance and needed a lot of attention over the past few weeks. My strategy has been to think of treating everyday as an experiment, I am no ...

I stayed on that f****** bus. The past year has not been easy but I have done it, I have finished university and had the best year yet. I have made some of the biggest decisions of my life, so the pressure has definitely been felt. Third year seems all about working hard and getting yourself on a grad scheme because that's what everyone else around you is doing. So, I got to the beginning of this year and absolutely freaked out! I was going into final year and really felt like I had not accomplished the whole 'uni experience' at alll. So I went and did things differently, decided to treat it just like first year; I joined different and new societies, got properly into my studying and met loads of new people. It was the best decision I ever made. A decision that I would not have made had Gramps not told me to stay on that bus. In September, having said when I was 15 that I would never row again, I decided that I would go back and give rowing a go, as a novice. I had noth...

We all as people find it far too easy to come up with excuses telling ourselves when we don’t feel just quite right it is normal and we just need to get on with it. Now, A) this isn't wrong, because what is normal? But B) if we don't feel quite right why do we just ignore it instead of giving the treatment and attention it needs early on? It really is no different to a physical injury. If we think about it, there is no normal. Because who decides what normal is? The only things we should ever compare in life is ourselves, how we have felt before, how we feel now, stuff like that. It is very ordinary to have ups and downs, because things change and life moves on, but recognising these differences just mean we are being observant. To be able to come out and speak up about how you're feeling shows that you are strong. It shows that, if you aren't feeling so good, you want to feel different, because you know how this difference feels. You can recognise that you may not ...