Life As An Experiment

We have all been in a situation where we feel horrifically guilty or ashamed of something that we have done or said. It consumes our minds and is all we think about. Our thoughts become irrational and we convince ourselves that what could or might have happened is just too bad to even say aloud, we are disgusted with ourselves. This leads to dealing with this feeling and emotion in different ways, sometimes unhelpfully.  Talking is one of best things for us- basically like getting a second opinion...for free!! Too many people are afraid to speak out. We shy away from telling the truth or even just asking for advice because we are scared of how we might be judged.  In reality this is because our minds have already done the nasty work of convincing us of something incorrect. The more we get the word out there about how we are feeling, the more we will realise numerous things: A ) It is good to talk!!  It stops all that internalising, and sometimes just saying thing...

Yes  I was bullied, yes it affected me, but no way in hell nearly as much as the effect that one stupid app had on my life.  I’m tall, active and a fairly reserved person, which is very different I now note, to unconfident.  Of course  I was going to weigh more than those around me, (not lying about my height!). I was never really that  self conscious  or worried about how I looked to other people; I was happy .  In April 2017 I downloaded  MyFitness  Pal and this ended up being the catalyst of a period, which is safe to say, looking back on now was the worst period of my life.  Prior to downloading it I was very easy come, easy go. I’ve definitely recognised there were issues regarding disordered  eating  but I was blissfully unaware of what was to come.  The main thing I used  MyFitness  Pal was, to begin with, see how many calories I consumed because, as I recall telling my Mum, I was ‘curious...