Decision to Move Away from Rowing…

Have been meaning to write this for a few weeks now; I guess I haven’t because the fact that I have recognised performance sport isn’t the right place for me right now is hard to admit. Gonna try and keep it short and sweet, but update you all on the decision I’ve made and why. 

Over the last almost two years when introducing myself, my go to has always been ‘Hi, nice to meet you. I’m Ellie and I am a full-time rower.’ Always enjoyable to see how quickly I could get the fact that I rowed into the conversation…

When making the decision to stop rowing, not because I don’t want to do it anymore but because I’ve recognised that environment is not one that is healthy for me, my first thought was shit! Who even am I now? 

 

Since my training had to pause due to ongoing illness, it became apparent that I probably wasn’t quite where I believed I was in terms of recovery. It was obvious that doing three sessions a day had, in a way, ‘allowed me’ to eat properly. It was a twisted and secretive relationship  that over time was engraining into me, albeit very subtly, that I had to ‘earn’ my food. When training was taken away and I was unable to do any training at all, I relapsed. Although it was a difficult period, it has again taught me so much about where I am and what needs to be done to properly get on top of things. 

 

High performance sport is ultimately an environment that for me, allowed my eating disorder  to live on. And enough is enough, right now I have got to focus on a proper recovery rather than just recovering enough so that I can start competing again. 

So for now, I will be moving away from high performance sport and focusing on myself and my future.

It has obviously been a bit of a bitter pill to swallow, because trust me, it’s not that it is coming from a place where I don’t want to. But I am now ready to acknowledge that it may potentially be for the wrong reasons and ultimately could be quite damaging long-term. 

 

Training full-time over the past couple of years has been absolutely amazing; I have met some incredible people and really think it has taught me a huge amount. I am looking forward to lots of new and exciting opportunities in the future, and feel ready to put in the work needed with my therapist. 

 

In terms of what next, I have accepted a role with a company in London which I will be starting mid-August and I am so unbelievably excited! Very ready to channel my drive and determination into something less sport related for now.


I will also be continuing as a Find Your Activity Ambassador which I am thrilled about! After the past year, making it easier for people to be able to find and access extra-curricular activities in their local area is something that is always going to be very important to me. Having seen first-hand the impact that numerous lockdowns have had on a variety of people, including primary school children and the elderly, I truly believe that now is an even more important time to be able to easily see the activities available to you in your area. 


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